Tuesday, April 1, 2014

A Parody Cosplay Interview!

Happy April Fools Day! In celebration of this hilarious and sometimes physically violent holiday, my friend Marvin (of Hero Hotties) and I bring you a parody cosplay interview full of stupid questions and humorous answers. Enjoy our sarcastic and foolish exchange, peasants!

Marvin: How long you been a cos-playa?

Victoria: Cos-playa? Do you not know what Google is? Spell check? Any of this ringing a bell? Learn how to spell, buddy.

Marvin: What kind of unmentionables do you have under that suit? 

Victoria: Unmentionables? Am I suppose to be wearing underwear with this thing?

Marvin: Do the boots match the capes?

Victoria:  My fist matches your face.

Marvin:  Do you have a side kick in your life? 

Victoria: Yes, I do but my caped lover and I choose to keep that private, thank you very much.  When we are ready to reveal our relationship we will announce it like civil people do. On Twitter.

Marvin: When’s the last time you two “worked out” together? 

Victoria: I'm sure you can recall. It was that last massive earth quake we had. By the way, I'm pregnant.

Marvin:  How many people have seen your secret lair?

Victoria:  I showed it to your mom. She seemed to like it.

Marvin:  What’s your secret identity? 

Victoria: Oh I don't have just one identity. I have several.  Angelina Jolie does not exist. That's me. Mila Kunis? That's me. I've been wanting to trap Ashton Kutcher into marriage for years and now I finally got that bastard! Jessica Alba? That's me. That chair in the corner? That's me too. I'm everywhere!

Marvin:  If you took off your X-Men uniform, would you describe your look as Beast, 2013 Storm, or Professor X? 

Victoria: I'd say Emma Frost but my rack isn't as big as hers. She's got implants by the way.

Marvin: If I wanted to call you, what signal would I have to shine in the sky? 

Victoria: You'd need a pretty big freakin' diamond to get my attention, pal. Better start saving now. I'm not showing up for anything smaller than the size of your house.

Marvin: Are you taking applications for side kicks? 

Victoria: Hell no! My insurance won't cover a second side kick. But feel free to send me your resume and I'll put it in the "future deceased" pile.

Marvin:  Age/Sex/Location? 

Victoria: Why the hell do you want to know how old I am and where I live? Why even ask me what gender I am? How many guys do you know named 'Victoria'? You suck, buddy. Throw away your computer!

Marvin:  If I was a fanboy, at what convention could I stalk, err find you next? 

Victoria: The Joker throws a really great annual convention at his house. I'll give you the address. He'll probably tie you up and do horrible things to you but just roll with it. That's just the hazing phase. 

1 comment:

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